𝙄 𝙂𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙄𝙏𝙐𝘼𝙇 𝘼 𝙏𝙍𝙔

ME: What can I do to earn money online, kelvin?

 KELVIN: Uhhnn.. I think you should have an online skill.

                   ************

I hadn’t done the “rituals” in years, but after a meltdown over a broken coffee machine, I figured I’d give them a try.

 My grandmother’s journal said to “cleanse your space with fire,” so I lit a candle, sat cross-legged, and tried to look spiritual—while secretly hoping I wasn’t setting my apartment on fire.

Next, I had to make an offering, so I used a photo of my cat, figuring she was the most important thing in my life. 

I muttered the incantation (it sounded like bad fantasy dialogue) and waited for some big revelation. Spoiler: Nothing happened. But I did realize my cat might be the true key to peace—or maybe I was just hungry.

In the end, I wasn’t enlightened, but I did feel a bit calmer—and way more grateful for my cat, who’s clearly been more helpful than I ever gave her credit for.

NEVER TRY DOING RITUAL OO

please, what is ritual?

See you in the comment section 👇